ESTABLISHING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR AUDIENCE
by
David W. Richardson, CSP 

The next time you're watching someone "pitch" a product, watch them carefully, watch for the skills they've perfected to reach out and "grab" you, their audience, and consider how those traits can be used by you to become a more powerful presenter. 

Make strong contact with your listeners!  Become audience centered.  Reach out to them.  There's no magic involved here . . . simply be aware that an effective presentation always includes audience feedback.  You are not there to simply tell the listeners what is on your mind or what you would like them to do.  It is essential that you build a relationship with them in order to get your desired results. 

Study your audience for reactions and adjust your presentation accordingly -- through your words, your voice, your gestures, and your whole body -- until they lead you to the desired objective. 

Here are some clues that will give you an indication that perhaps your presentation is less effective than you wish it to be: 

1.                  Arms are folded across their chests.
2.                  They are looking down.
3.                  They are looking down and their eyes are closed.
4.                  They're snoring!
5.                  They're twiddling their thumbs.
6.                  They're doodling.
7.                  They're drumming their fingers on the table.
8.                  They're flipping through your handout for the umpteenth time.
9..                 They're whispering to the person next to them. 

As a matter of fact, to say that these people are bored would be an understatement.  At this point your presentation is going nowhere but south!  

There are five key areas to building rapport when speaking one on one with someone:  

1. Tone of voice.

Listen carefully to your tone of voice and then listen to the tone of voice of the person with whom you're speaking.  If you were to pick up the telephone right now and talk with your spouse or a very good friend, you could tell within two seconds whether or not they were having a good day.  You would react to their tone of voice. 

Simply speaking, voice tones are categorized in two specific areas . . . up-tone and down-tone. 

A person who is speaking up-tone has a tendency to speak a little more loudly.  You might even judge their speaking to be a little more upbeat or dynamic.  Those who speak down-tone speak a little more softly and are perhaps somewhat more reserved.  

During face-to-face presentations you want to listen carefully to the tone of voice of the person with whom you are speaking and begin to think about how that individual's tones sound in relation to your own.  If, for example, you are typically an up-tone speaker, and your listener is more down-tone, you should think about ways in which to speak in a similar down-tone manner.  

2. Tempo of voice.

Tempo is the pace at which we speak.  Some people tend to speak very rapidly, while others tend to speak very slowly and methodically.  There is an interesting correlation between those who speak up-tone and those who speak at a more rapid pace or up-tempo.  Those who speak down-tone have a tendency to speak a little more slowly.  It is important that you observe the pace of your listener in order that you might effectively match it. 

A fast-talking presenter will be perceived by a slow-speaking listener as someone who is perhaps too quick, aggressive, and maybe even somewhat arrogant.  The slow speaking, methodical prospect will not even be able to listen effectively and follow the pace of the discussion.  There simply will be no rapport. 

Conversely, a very slow talking presenter and a very rapid-speaking prospect will likewise struggle to develop a strong business relationship.  In this instance, the listener could perceive the salesperson to be dumb, stupid, or slow, and become completely bored with the conversation very quickly. 

The bottom line:  You must listen to the tone and tempo of your listener, and during your presentation make every effort to match it. 

3. Observe posture.

The law of psychological reciprocity says that people will tend to mirror back to us behavior that we give to them during the course of a conversation.  For example, if you are speaking to someone and begin to nod your head every so slightly, in many instances you can expect your listener to begin to nod their head also if you have established rapport. 

In this regard, during the presentation it is to your advantage to begin to match the posture of your listener.  

Let's set the scene . . . You are sitting across from the individual who will be listening to your presentation.  Perhaps you are sitting at a desk or a conference room table, facing each other, speaking in a conversational tone. 

At some point during the presentation, let's say your listener leans back in their chair.  What do you do?  Naturally you lean forward because you do not want to change the "presentation space" which currently exists between you and that individual. 

In reality, when the individual leans back in their chair you should ever so slightly lean back in yours.  Perhaps your listener is very subtly telling you that subconsciously he needs a little break.  You give that break to them by leaning back ever so slightly yourself.  If they lean back too far it could be an indication that you might be losing their interest.  In this regard, rather than leaning forward, you should consider asking an opinion-based question to get them talking. 

Then at the point when your listener leans forward, you should do the same yourself.  The key here is to make your posture most like that of your listener. 

4. Words of favor.

During a presentation with a small group of listeners, in the course of the dialogue, it is critical that you listen to the words they are using to identify their needs and wants.  They may use these words and phrases several times during the conversation.  Listen to these words, write them down, remember them, because they will help define the ultimate success of your presentation.  

On one occasion, I was making a presentation to the president of a company.  The objective was to design a program to enable his salespeople to present a new product line and validate a new pricing structure.  In the course of our conversation he said he wanted a "real world project", because "my people operate in real world situations.  We want nothing contrived, only "real world". 

He must have used those words "real world" at least a half dozen times during our conversation.  When it came time for me to outline how I would approach this project and what I would do for him, I said something like this, "We will go out into the field and work with your salespeople.  We'll interview your managers, as well as several of your key customers.  We'll also examine your competition and their penetration into the market.  We will then design a project which places your people in real world selling situations on a day-to-day basis." 

The president cut me off immediately, slammed his hand onto the desk, and said "I have interviewed four consultants for this project . . . you are the first one who really understands what our gut level needs are!"  Needless to say, I got the assignment. 

Those words were important to that executive and to his company.  By validating my services as a function of his words of favor, we developed an instant rapport that has lasted for many years. 

5. Listening

There is an inherent problem here.  Most presenters are so intent on covering every single aspect of their presentation thoroughly that they fail to listen to what their clients are really saying.  They are thinking about what to say next.  There are two types of listening that take place during a presentation, listening to gain information and listening to respond.  Focus your listening on gaining information so that when you respond you are speaking their language. 

When you're involved in one on one as a presenter, be sure to encourage dialogue, listen carefully, and match tone, tempo, posture, and words of favor.  It's all about building rapport.  If you can't do that then your presentation is going nowhere.